The driving was so out of control stressful that about halfway to Ocho Rios we had to pull over so I could take a break. We found a road-side "jerk shack" ("Hey, we're jerks!") and decided to have a smoke, have a drink and have some spicy Jamaican food.
The place we'd booked to stay out was a gated-off resort-type place so we decided to rent a car because it would give us more freedom to explore the island. I'd driven on the left side of the road before and figured it would be no big deal. WRONG! Too bad no one told me that Jamaicans, who are reknowned around the world for getting high and being all friendly and "No problem, mon!" turn into crazy people as soon as they get behind the control on anything that has wheels a motor. Seriously, they are hands down the craziest drivers I've ever seen (and I grew up in NEW JERSEY!).
After breakfast we took a three hour drive to check out Port Antonio, which was made famous because its Blue Lagoon was where the 80s Tom Cruise movie Cocktail was filmed ( which the locals still affectionally talk about like it came out in theaters last week).
Wednesday morning, we got up nice and early to make sure we could get to the airport to claim our tickets and make sure there weren't going to be any other snags.
Afterwards, I went over to Lit to meet up with this little asshole. I hadn't seen her in a long ass time and wanted to catch up because the very next day I was going to Jamaica with Meredith for a week!
So cold that I'd taken to wearing my black thermals that I'd bought for my upcoming trip to Estonia, Finland, Germany and Hungary under my clothes while walking around in NYC.
Tuesday night I went over to Number 1 Chinese (now called China One) to check out Sid and Buddy's new karaoke party that they called to tell me had somehow become a favorite hangout for "slutty models." Hahah.
Then we had a contest to see who could hold two spoons with their eyes for the longest amount of time. I won. (Actually, as of this writing, a year later, I still haven't let them go. Which is why this site is so far behind.)
The guy in the black leather jacket was pretty much the drunkest ambulatory person I've ever seen in my life. All throughout the show he wove his way in and out of the audience, jumping around, spilling drinks and either routing for or heckling the band. (He was so drunk it wasn't clear what he was yelling. Just that he was very enthusiastic about whatever it was he was yelling.)
Sleeping late means that I'd still be wide awake at like 6am in the morning. Rather than bother Meredith, usually I'd sit on her stoop for awhile chain smoking and listening to "trying to calm the fuck down" records and chain-smoking. And occasionally taking, "Whoa, I'm drunk," self-portraits like this one.
...Amy K! Yay! While doing shots, I'd gotten a text from her that some serious karaoke was going down at Second and Second and I responded to that shit like Batman does to the Batsignal (the notable difference being that Batman doesn't usually turn up sha-sha-shitfaced).
Afterwards, we went to Baramundi for a couple of drinks and it turns out that one of the bartenders there and her boyfriend both read this site. Read: FREE DRINKS! In a turn of incredibly bad luck though, it turns out that they were there to celebrate leaving the US and going to Australia (I think?). I told you that your pic would make it up here eventually! Hope the move went well!
...Leigh smelling her fingers??? WTF? When the bar's empty it's pretty much a given that I'm going to take out my camera and try to get everybody to do stupid gangsta poses.
We sat near the stage and for some reason every single comedian took time out of their routine to make comments about my hair. (WTF?) The last comedian of the night was Godfrey (self-proclaimed "star" of a few 7up commercials) who went so far as to call me up on stage as the "token white boy" that he tried his best to make look like a square...
Here's Em and I at the brunch table making cranky faces because it took over an hour to get a table at Essex and then another HOUR to get our food after we'd ordered.