a person in 395 photos in 2005

me

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Awwww, yeah. Two games to none!

Later that night we took a break from all the Rastifarian restaurants we'd been eating in and opted for some Italian.

Hahaha.

The driving was so out of control stressful that about halfway to Ocho Rios we had to pull over so I could take a break. We found a road-side "jerk shack" ("Hey, we're jerks!") and decided to have a smoke, have a drink and have some spicy Jamaican food.

Hahahah.

So sometimes I like to dress up like to dress up like a sexy lady when I'm high. What? What's the big deal?

Back at the hotel we took a swim...

Lounging in my flippers.

The place we'd booked to stay out was a gated-off resort-type place so we decided to rent a car because it would give us more freedom to explore the island. I'd driven on the left side of the road before and figured it would be no big deal. WRONG! Too bad no one told me that Jamaicans, who are reknowned around the world for getting high and being all friendly and "No problem, mon!" turn into crazy people as soon as they get behind the control on anything that has wheels a motor. Seriously, they are hands down the craziest drivers I've ever seen (and I grew up in NEW JERSEY!).

My manliness gets Meredith so hot.

Awwwwww.

Our sympathy for the locals who were desparate to make a buck in the face of Jamaica's receeding tourism, had begun to quickly dissipate.

After breakfast we took a three hour drive to check out Port Antonio, which was made famous because its Blue Lagoon was where the 80s Tom Cruise movie Cocktail was filmed ( which the locals still affectionally talk about like it came out in theaters last week).

Back at the hotel, we hit the beach to read and play Scrabble.

Awwww.

Hahaha. And then made faces at me in my sleep. (That's ok, I make faces at her pretty much EVERY NIGHT while she's sleeping).

I passed the fuck out and Meredith took pics of my sleeping double chin.

...then I conked the fuck out so Meredith could take some more pics mocking me in my sleep.

Wednesday morning, we got up nice and early to make sure we could get to the airport to claim our tickets and make sure there weren't going to be any other snags.

On the flight home we took this pic...

...a little romantic.

I guess that's it for February 2005. Woot woot!

Me and Amy K

Nina and me sorta look like we're related.

On Wednesday afternoon Grant and I met up with his Uncle and Aunt that were in town from Norway. (Uncle Phil is Grant's dad's brother).

Afterwards, I went over to Lit to meet up with this little asshole. I hadn't seen her in a long ass time and wanted to catch up because the very next day I was going to Jamaica with Meredith for a week!

Yeah, I'm guessing that we're already drunk here.

Awww, Valentine's Day. Meredith and I had a nice little dinner at...

Then I usually take a picture of myself chilling in the back while I've got the camera out. Yup. Here's me, just chilling.

Me at the top of the steps to Meredith's apartment getting ready to hail a cab.

Meredith snapped this pic of me in her apartment doing a panicky last-minute check to make sure I had everything I needed for my trip.

So cold that I'd taken to wearing my black thermals that I'd bought for my upcoming trip to Estonia, Finland, Germany and Hungary under my clothes while walking around in NYC.

Marjorie didn't need to borrow my hat cause she had her very own!

Tuesday night I went over to Number 1 Chinese (now called China One) to check out Sid and Buddy's new karaoke party that they called to tell me had somehow become a favorite hangout for "slutty models." Hahah.

Then we had a contest to see who could hold two spoons with their eyes for the longest amount of time. I won. (Actually, as of this writing, a year later, I still haven't let them go. Which is why this site is so far behind.)

...slip into something more comfortable.

This one's my favorite because if you look closely you'll notice...

Meredith took some "casual" pics of me lounging in front of my computer in my sweet lounging-robe and new slippers.

They're so snazzy and shiny that I've been threatening to wear them with a suit and walk around outside the house with them on!

Then it was my turn.

Me and Karen.

...borrow Emily's hat (and anyone who knows me know how much I HATE hats!).

Eureka! This one's perfect. Holy shit we're fucking ugly. No wonder neither of us can ever get laid!

Mine's even better in this pic but Siege is looking downright cute. That won't do at all!

Outside Siege and I tried to make the ugliest faces that we could. Pretty good.

Me with my sweet-ass orange hat that my Gram bought for me and Nick.

Me with Jaye's boobies.

Oh, payback! Nick gets slammed with a "get a load of this guy" times two.

Never one to pass up an opp to rock the mic, Seth came with.

Mrs. Peepers and me.

Seith (in town visiting from Boston..wooo!) me and Grizz.

The guy in the black leather jacket was pretty much the drunkest ambulatory person I've ever seen in my life. All throughout the show he wove his way in and out of the audience, jumping around, spilling drinks and either routing for or heckling the band. (He was so drunk it wasn't clear what he was yelling. Just that he was very enthusiastic about whatever it was he was yelling.)

Jessica - clearly seen here about to pay me for snuggling her boobs.

This is how I do on the dance floor.

...Sid and Buddy Karaoke!

Eric G, in the house boy-ee.

Sarah, me and Josh.

Amber and me (air-cupping her boobie).

Here's Sarah and I in the front and I'm squatting down so that I look like a kid.

We stepped into a bar and promptly ran into his recent ex-gf Jesse. Ah-ah-awkward!

Here's me with the man of the hour.

Not that I can't understand what it's like to be caught doing that. Hahaha.

Sleeping late means that I'd still be wide awake at like 6am in the morning. Rather than bother Meredith, usually I'd sit on her stoop for awhile chain smoking and listening to "trying to calm the fuck down" records and chain-smoking. And occasionally taking, "Whoa, I'm drunk," self-portraits like this one.

...long time no see friend Xiomara and...

I ran into fellow karaoke over-enthusiast Jamie Kirkpatrick who I immediate photo-chastised for drinking a fucking Original Sin cider...wtf???

Check out Silky Black Cowboy giving me the "I'll give you one guess which whiteboy's so gonna throw up when he gets home?"

From there, Amy and I ran through the rain looking to see who else was up super late and we prompty ran into...

...Amy K! Yay! While doing shots, I'd gotten a text from her that some serious karaoke was going down at Second and Second and I responded to that shit like Batman does to the Batsignal (the notable difference being that Batman doesn't usually turn up sha-sha-shitfaced).

Four or five shots deep (Don't do shots. Don't do shots!) I said goodbye to the birthday girl and crew and headed over to meet up with...

Afterwards, we went to Baramundi for a couple of drinks and it turns out that one of the bartenders there and her boyfriend both read this site. Read: FREE DRINKS! In a turn of incredibly bad luck though, it turns out that they were there to celebrate leaving the US and going to Australia (I think?). I told you that your pic would make it up here eventually! Hope the move went well!

Monday was equally eventful: Late night karaoke drive-by where I ran into long-time-no-see Alyssa...

Awwww.

...and got a smooch!

Me wishing Ellen (my new friend!) goodnight.

Hahaha. It hates having the mask stolen!

Sheal and I: Misfits foreva.

Nick and his gf giving me the not-so-subtle "get a load of this guy."

Me and Leigh.

Bellies full and all buzzed up (Josh, what's going on with your torso?), we rallied and decided to head over to MisShapes.

HardAzNails 2005.

Who looks like a little Mexican bee? Tinny does!

...The Tinny and the other Sarah L.

...Leigh smelling her fingers??? WTF? When the bar's empty it's pretty much a given that I'm going to take out my camera and try to get everybody to do stupid gangsta poses.

Me and Sarah...

...until I snatched the mic with the quickness. He didn't know about my...

We sat near the stage and for some reason every single comedian took time out of their routine to make comments about my hair. (WTF?) The last comedian of the night was Godfrey (self-proclaimed "star" of a few 7up commercials) who went so far as to call me up on stage as the "token white boy" that he tried his best to make look like a square...

...chocolately center of SOUL! Hahaha.

...Gina (aka "SmellsGood BonJersey")...

...Liz's birthday party at New Blu Cafe.

Amanda (the girl who advertised her friends' band with stickers on her boobies back at Sarah's crazy bday party that was at my old apt) and me.

..then we went way uptown to see a movie at the Times Sq Megaplex. (Of course I read Star! Shhhh!)

...her antique fur coat. (Queue "Big Pimpin'" mp3 now).

Then late night, we met up with the lizzadies...

It was insult to injury afterward when I met up with Meredith and she broke my winning streak by beating me at Scrabble. Boo.

Here's Em and I at the brunch table making cranky faces because it took over an hour to get a table at Essex and then another HOUR to get our food after we'd ordered.