i keep a diary

a thing in 317 photos

tongue

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tongue
A few drinks in and the funny faces started.
thanksgiving
November 25, 2004
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Followed by the Group face-licking. And then the next thing you know...
thanksgiving
November 25, 2004
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Then came the face-licking.
thanksgiving
November 25, 2004
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We got to my parents house in NJ and found my brother all excited after months of (f)unemployment to finally be able to show proof of gainful employment by busting out one of his brand new business cards that announce him as a consultant for Ascenture. (Check out how happy my Mom is! No more hand outs! No more hand outs!) If you've been reading my site for a while, you know that anytime I'm visiting my family in New Jersey for a holiday, there's always one thing that needs to be done...
thanksgiving
November 25, 2004
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We ended up getting crunked out of minds and going back to the Bellagio to eat breakfast at like 7am.
las vegas business trip for adbrite
November 15, 2004
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Ellen and Meredith.
back in nyc
October 21, 2004
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Hey, if the birthday boy wants to lick your face there's not really much you can do about it other than smile.
back in nyc
October 21, 2004
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....ummmm, yep! Drunk!
emily visits san francisco
October 15, 2004
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...a digital camera! Which upon returning to NYC she used to start her very own exciting (yet short-lived...*sniffle*) photoblog.
meredith visits san francisco
September 25, 2004
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Look! I think I can see the Castro from here!
meredith visits san francisco
September 25, 2004
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Here's me picking her up at the airport. See how excited she is? I told you that my Nissan Sentra rental drives the bitches wild! After we'd caught up, I made good on something I'd been promising for weeks...
meredith visits san francisco
September 25, 2004
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moving to san francisco going away party part 2
August 24, 2004
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David, Meredith and Una.
moving to san francisco going away party: part one
August 24, 2004
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Whatever it was, Amy Albano loved it.
moving to san francisco going away party: part one
August 24, 2004
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Matt Lesser (aka - Sid from Sid & Buddy's Karaoke) was nice enough to come play emcee for the party. Matt Lavin (aka - Buddy) was out of town so the lovely Candy filled in.
moving to san francisco going away party: part one
August 24, 2004
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Karen tasting my shirt.
doug visits town
August 22, 2004
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I'm not sure I handed my camera over to at this point but as you'll be able to see over the next few pics, they managed to grab some clutch snaps. I didn't even know I was capable of making a face like this. (Check out Leigh in the background losing her shit. Hahaha).
doug visits town
August 22, 2004
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And a coathook to the face!
last month in nyc: the august roundup part one
August, 2004
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Emily C. showed up with the Sparks tongue in full-effect.
fatty's birthday and drunk guy jenga
July 31, 2004
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Sarah was pretending to lick my stomach...but more importantly, how much does my wrist in the background look like a flacid, veiny dong?
leigh's birthday parties
July 24, 2004
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Grant repaying half of his nipple-licking karmic-debt.
leigh's birthday parties
July 24, 2004
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Carol's creepy tongue.
leigh's birthday parties
July 24, 2004
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Lila about to score some birthday-girl action.
leigh's birthday parties
July 24, 2004
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Meredith and Cat rub some titties while a newly revitalized Fatty (I told you Sparks works!) is all smiles in the background.
siren festival at coney island and misshapes
July 17, 2004
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Grant might've gotten the ass-shot but he sure didn't get his nostril licked.
random thursday night of karaoke at the delancey
July 15, 2004
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Tinny, where are your teeth?
the july roundup: part two
July, 2004
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Then Grant entertained us with his amazing impression of a mime eating an ass. Yay, First Half of July!
the july roundup: part one
July, 2004
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There we go. Thanks.
brunch and karens 23rd birthday party at misshapes
June 26, 2004
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Sarah, Cat (Too bad you think her shirt's a joke) and Meredith. C'mon lizzadies, you can do better than that.
brunch and karens 23rd birthday party at misshapes
June 26, 2004
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Amber was in full-effect that night. Every time Lawrence would look away, Amber would start dancing all sexy and freaking him from behind without touching him. Do you know how hard it is to dance all fast behind someone without touching them and accidentally giving yourself away? Girl's got skills.
brunch and karens 23rd birthday party at misshapes
June 26, 2004
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Bonus points to Beth for managing to lick my neck and not even have me notice when I was taking this picture.
the misshapes prom party
June 13, 2004
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Me and Matt Lesser (the Hairdresser). Aka - Sid from Sid and Buddy's Karaoke Superparty.
another night at misshapes
June 05, 2004
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Speaking of strangers, this dude (who I think was from somewhere in the UK) came over and tried to get on the girls by showing off his tongue. Impressive, but it got him precisely...nowhere.
the june roundup
June, 2004
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Me and Tins.
the june roundup
June, 2004
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More evidence of Sparks being consumed.
the june roundup
June, 2004
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Later that night I met up with Vin. We walked around town and drank a few Sparks before heading up towards Union Square to attend...
the june roundup
June, 2004
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Karen and Leigh, cold chilling with High Life and Sparks, respectively. Deese hos gots class.
sarah's memorial day bbq
May 31, 2004
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Julie played along for the first few minutes, but as the song dragged on Ed's crooning and caressing went from cute to creepy in a hurry. (Hey, remember when Chiara's friend Leila almost hooked up with Ed after a serenading?)
jamie kirkpatrick's bachelor party
May 20, 2004
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Me (looking like, ummm, a cobra) and Bonnie.
vin's 28th birthday
April 24, 2004
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After a thorough bronskying - Amber managed to lure Sarah into the feigned kiss with the old "don't worry, I'll cover your mouth" trick. Then as soon as she got in there she parted her fingers and slipped in the tounge. Savage! (Hey guy in the background, cheer up! Checkered shirts will be cool again soon!)
morrissey release party and a crashed interpol birthday party
April 21, 2004
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Brian does the "lean in."
tax day and movie party karaoke
April 15, 2004
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Buddy does his DeNiro next to Candy's cheeky bum.
the april roundup
April, 2004
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On Tuesday I met up with kindred perv-spirit David Kreitman for some mid-day pie at Lombardi's.
the april roundup
April, 2004
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And speaking of Sarah's wonderful set...BA-DUM-CHA!
stellastarr* at irving plaza
March 31, 2004
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After recharging the batteries for a while, we hit the street and got some grub. Mandy opted for more traditional TexMex fare while the Fatty said "Fuck it" and got hisself a motherfuggin corn dizzawg.
sxsw part one: bands in austin
March 18, 2004
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The birthday boy pleasuring his beer. He's the best at that.
seth's surprise party part two karaoke and afterhours
March 13, 2004
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In all fairness to Amber, I don't want everyone who sees this to think she was the only one who at the time was drunk enough to think that pretending to rim someone was the best thing ever.
fatty quits and two karaoke nights
March 01, 2004
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Wooo! Woooo! Welcome to I'm-Pretending-To-Rim-Yousville.
fatty quits and two karaoke nights
March 01, 2004
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Grant had the cam for this one - so I'm not entirely sure why he's got a beer bottle next to Amber's head. For perspective, maybe?
fatty quits and two karaoke nights
March 01, 2004
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Jim Jazz and Grant.
the march roundup
March, 2004
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Afterwards, Grant and Jen Choi pussed out and went back to my apartment to crash (Grant had just got back from LA and was crashing in my spare bedroom because he still a subletter in his place) and Vin, Amber and I went on to Lit to be idiots and dance. Check out Vin's raver-face. So awesome.
the march roundup
March, 2004
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Holy moly! Well then! Welcome back to NYC, Grant. We missed the hell outta you.
welcome back grant party
February 26, 2004
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TITTY!
em and lo's book release party
February 16, 2004
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You have to be careful getting this close to Lo when she's been drinking - most of the time you'll just get your face licked, but if she's feeling vindictive, she give you a hickey that'll make it look like you survived a hanging (thanks Meredith!) before you even realize what she's up to.
em and lo's book release party
February 16, 2004
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Don't get excited. I already told you she didn't end up putting out, remember?
sarah's birthday bash: part two
February 07, 2004
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This was a really funny drunk couple we met. I don't remember the girl's name, but I remember that her boyfriend's name was Brad - because every 30 seconds, for no apparent reason, his girlfriend would scream "BRAAAAAAAAAAAD!" at the top of her lungs and then start hysterically laughing. Charming really.
aruba vacation part 2: car sleeping drunk driving
January 23, 2004
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Friday night. We headed back into Oranjestad. It was early evening when we arrived and the town was still dead. I decided to nap in the car while Scott set out to explore. We agreed that we'd meet up back over at the Paddock at 9pm. I got there to find he'd already made some new friends.
aruba vacation part 2: car sleeping drunk driving
January 23, 2004
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Here's us with Scott and Eric, two guys that we met that were originally from Boston. Eric, the guy in the JERK shirt, moved to Aruba for good and is a lawyer there.
aruba vacation part 1: leaving nyc and first night in aruba
January 22, 2004
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I lick your face!
a random night at lit
January 21, 2004
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Laura gives Bruce some "tough love" while Sonya goes in for the lick. (This monthly round up ends on the 19th because I spent the rest of the month in...ARUBA! Woooooo!
the january roundup
January, 2004
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Later that night, I was walking around the Lower East Side with Sarah and for some reason I was in the middle of telling her about how last year when I was backstage at an ACDC concert in London, Keith Flint from the Prodigy mistook me for a guy named Crispin Mills, who used to be the singer for a UK band called Kula Shaker. Anyway, right after I had finished telling the story, we walked into some shop, and the girl behind the counter waves to me and says "Hi, Crispin." Apparently, her sister used to date him and she was convinced I was him. Random, random, randon.
the january roundup
January, 2004
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...piece of performance art starring Sarah and a pair of zip-up crotchless underwear.
the january roundup
January, 2004
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michael t's birthday and karaoke with scott
January 15, 2004
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michael t's birthday and karaoke with scott
January 15, 2004
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Nah-nah-nips! (check out David's face on the right. Hahah). The best part about Jessie's see-through shirt? The other girls there saw all the attention she was getting and ran home to change into their very own...
the january roundup
January, 2004
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Seth and Erinne.
new year's eve
December 31, 2003
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...actually lay in her lap while frenching. (I love how Rob's laughing and it's causing Sarah to accidentally lick his face).
a karaoke christmas
December 22, 2003
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After we finished eating, the plan was for Emma and Lorelei to call and say that we should meet them at the Sunburned Cow, a bar all the way over on Avenue C. We'd try to arrive right at 10pm, and everyone would jump out yell "Surprise!" (hopefully both surprising Grant and scaring the living shit out of him simutaneously).
grant's surprise party
November 07, 2003
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So a few minutes later, G and I are sitting in Burger King kicking it with a coupla Whoppers, and this girl with a really great bum walks by. As soon as she'd passed, Grant was like "Get your camera ready! I want to show you what I'd like to do to that chick's ass." And thus came about my new all-time favorite pic of the Man, the legend, the King of Tee-Effing Ass, Grant "Pow, Howdaya Like Me Now" Stoddard.
european vacation part 21: heading home!
November 01, 2003
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On Sunday, Grant and I took the train out to NJ to visit our friend Jordana who was on the east coast visiting her in-laws. Jordana is married to our friend Ross (who is the guy producing Grant's TV pilot out in LA). Grant had been living with Ross & Jord out in LA for the last few months and was getting ready to fly back out there the next day. Wow, that was a pretty long explanation considering that my camera died and I didn't end up even getting any pictures of Jordana or the delicious Japanese meal we ate. I did manage to get a photo of Grant posing with the dozen delicious Krispy Kreme doughnuts we bought at Penn Station, tho.
the november roundup
November, 2003
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...it was time to seal the deal with some sweet, sweet makeout.
european vacation part 20: halloween in bas vegas, baby!
October 31, 2003
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Chris (being Greek) demonstrates the proper way to wear this "Can I Lick Your Clit?" souvenir from Greece.
european vacation part 7: first day in crete!.
October 24, 2003
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Chris and me. (Oh yeah, and this is an ACDC concert so prepare yourself to see nothing but tongues and "metal horns" in the rest of these pics. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just follow them).
european vacation part 4: london & ac/dc
October 21, 2003
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Me and Sarah (who would be getting married soon if I was just a little more Jewish).
the october roundup
October, 2003
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The Fatty and Sarah.
tara's 21st birthday and goodbye party
September 30, 2003
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Nina and Jason.
friday night out
September 05, 2003
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Me and Nina.
friday night out
September 05, 2003
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This one's even creepier. This guy looks my lovechild with Clay Aiken (Not like that could never happen - everyone knows Clay's straight).
bizarro me
September, 2003
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"No, it's this one that's the milkman's son."
karaoke with brett
August 09, 2003
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Check out this cougar that was circling Colin and me; clearly trolling for a lil' spitroast action.
boys weekend in newport part two: friday night and the beach
August 01, 2003
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And I licked her face.
thursday night out (with jesus)
July 18, 2003
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Big Daddy and the Fatty grilling up some eats.
badminton in brooklyn
July 12, 2003
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Charlene's dad is Gene Simmons. Shhhhh.
the hole and p diddy
June 25, 2003
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Grant and Nina!
emma's 30th birthday: part one
May 21, 2003
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Hey! That's my bike.
saturday night out
April 04, 2003
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Me and Sarah.
saturday night out
April 04, 2003
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Look! Operation Iraqi Freedom chalks up another big victory by intercepting what was almost a French Kiss. You're next Saddam! *shakes fist*
spun movie premiere party
March 06, 2003
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Thumbs up! Happy Birthday, Tiff!
tiffany's birthday
March 01, 2003
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Saturday night I went over to Lauren and Tara's and hung out and shot the shit.
random february pics
February, 2003
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Nerve hosted the premiere for the movie "All the Real Girls." Here's Travis and Emma at the afterparty.
random february pics
February, 2003
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So check this - I'm at Piano's on Monday night. It's like 3am. I walk past this super cute girl on the dancefloor while looking for one of my friends. Two minutes later, as I'm trying to squeeze back through the crowd , the girl on the left in the pic above (later I find out her name is Lauren) shoves her friend (the cute girl, whose name I later find out is Tara) into me. Tara, who's now leaning back on my chest, turns around and looks at me and says "hi." Lauren starts cracking up. So I say to Lauren:

"So is that your smooth way of introducing us?"
Lauren: "No, it's my not-so-smooth way of getting you two to MAKEOUT!!" Me: "Holy shit, huh?"
Lauren: "Here's the deal: I'm a big lesbian and this is my roommate. I kissed her and she's the worst kisser ever. She says it's because she was drunk, but I don't believe her and I refuse to kiss her again. So now you have to kiss her and tell me if she's a bad kisser."
Me (in disbelief, pointing to Tara): "You want me to kiss, um, her?"
Lauren: "Yes."
Me: (looks at Tara).
Tara: (Smiles, nods and points to her mouth).

So, I smooched her. Add it to the list of "Top Ten Best Random Things Ever to Happen To Me in NYC."
end of january
January 18, 2003
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Albert and Abbey...
nerve and spring streets' holiday party
January 16, 2003
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Okay, this pic is from a few weeks earlier when Laura was in town for "The Rules of Attraction" premeire...but it's the greatest picture ever and I didn't include it earlier so here it is.
laura visits
November 15, 2002
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Oh boy.
grant's 26th birthday
November 04, 2002
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I licked Sarah's cheek and she licked...
scott's 27th birthday
October 26, 2002
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...the inside of Grant's mouth!
scott's 27th birthday
October 26, 2002
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Laura, my left eye, and James' tounge.
the rules of attraction movie premiere
October 10, 2002
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Which somehow led to this big goon lifting up his shirt to show off his tattoo. Rolling Facking Stones, doooooood!
abbey's christening
August 24, 2002
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When Kenny's not working (at his job where he impersonates "Doug" from "King of Queens"), he's busying wooing the beautiful (and tan, did I say tan?) ladies of the Jizzersey Shizzore.
new jersey weekend
August 16, 2002
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...which led to the licking of co-worker's girlfriends...
geeks gone wild
August 07, 2002