This is a picture of the birthday cake that Pauline (Grant's mom!) was given by her friends. She owns a salon and offeres bikini waxes (along with many other services) but her friends decided to make her a birthday cake about waxing! Hahaha. UNBELIEVABLE!
...but man, oh man is it a relic of totally non-useful information. Here's an example of the media plan we had to put together for Nordstrom using the latest cutting edge media planning software...
Meredith was up in the loft reading and I noticed some sort of a strange, home-made device sitting on the top of my dresser. It consisted of a wooden dowel, with a plastic knife-handle taped to the end (with black, electrical tape) and a brass-eyelet screwed into the top.
Every time we made a mistake, we'd be taken to this ERROR page (with its cryptic "NO HANDS ALLOWED" symbol) that also included an animated flapping duck and three, five-digit numbers. It was like a plot-device from an episode of LOST.
I don't think this is a banana, but it sure looked like one! It was a big yellow pod that had dried out and split open. Inside, it was filled with fluffy fiber and black seeds.
Oh, and she was also really into HUNTING FUCKING BEARS ON ATVs! HAHAHA. Holy fucking shit, I wish you could've seen Ellen's face when she first saw this photo and tried to wrap her mind around the fact that it's high-school Danielle proudly standing in front of a dead bear laying across the ATV she used to go hunting. WHAT?
I asked Danielle which product was her favorite and she handed me this one: Designer Skin Black 20X Mega Magical Silicone Bronzing Body Silk (duh!). (It retails for more than $100! WHAT?)
Danielle is Ellen and Kaitie's other roommate! She lives downstairs from them in the semi-separate basement apartment and is REALLY REALLY into tanning products. Seriously. This entire shelf is dedicated to really expensive creams that you're supposed to rub on your body to enhance the tan that you get while laying in a TANNING BED. WTF?
Look at the packaging! Don't these look like some kind of exotic Japanese frozen treat? I had the scissors out and was actually cutting into the plastic when Meredith happened to walk into the kitchen and inform me that I was about to eat a reusable frozen pack that you put on sore muscles. (Or frittata burns)
Hello, New England! Who in the world drinks a TWENTY-FOUR OUNCE can of Budweiser and Clamato (yeah, that's tomato juice and CLAM JUICE in case you didn't know)? It makes the huge Sparks can look tiny!
Hahaha. There was a stall at the mall that sold nothing but stretchy pants with stitching printed on them to make them look like REAL pants with REAL pockets! Hahahahahaha. OMG, hahahahaha.
I remember that when this happened, it seemed totally outrageous. Somehow, only two years later, this seems almost quaint. Still, pretty sweet tat' if you ask me. Who doesn't look at a giant butterfly and not want to grab it by the wings and have sex with it?
Oh, they also had mixed nuts. Denise brand mixed nuts. I don't know why, but the brand name "Denise" makes me giggle every single time. "Oh, deez nuts? They're Denise nuts!"
On Monday night I went over Leigh's to hang out. We ended up watching a crazy public-access show on Manhattan's glorious MNN that featured a crazy man, wearing a mask, standing in a hallway smoking a cigar and ranting.
...my dad took us next door to see Bruce's condo. He'd already done a bunch of work to "Brucify" the place. Check out the MEGACOUCH he put in the living room. It's the only couch I've seen where sitting isn't an option. You can ONLY lay on the thing. It's basically like having a leather bed in your living room.
Florida has all sorts of awesome innovations that cater to the mostly-older population. Check out this wireless doorbell they had on every table that you could use to signal for your waitress. (You know, in case you need more ketchup or in case your lunch-mate expires. Aw, Florida!)
OMG. Back in the day, Leigh used to be out late every single weeknight in the Lower East Side - so much so that she became friends with some of the garbage men that had that route and they used to give her and her roommate Jessica rides home to make sure they got home safely. Haha. We got out of Lawrence's party and when a garbage truck passed us, Leigh hailed it like a taxi AND THE GUY STOPPED. Hahaha. Let's hear it for free rides!
So wait, let me get this straight. You've designed a giant spider shooting a knife-web out of his face that stabs into a knife-holder / lizard-clutching-a-skull sculpture and you're going to get it manufactured and sell it for $19.99 at truck stops? Yes, I agree that you are probably going to be a millionaire.
My co-worker Ian and I were walking into the building when were alarmed by the unique stenciling on the office building's doors. Things are a little, uh, different in the south. Every time I look at Ian's eyes, I laugh. Hahaha.
Wait, HUH??? What kind of hillbilly, bait and switch, invite you to play paintball and then rape you in the woods with a hose (apparently) kind of shit is this?
